i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
