I just saw a hot homeless man
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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