you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
