the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
