Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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