drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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