did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
