u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
