I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
