We named our party play list daddy issues
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
