I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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