what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
