my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
