im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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