Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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