I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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