I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
