I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
