i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
