Pregnant stripper...not hot.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
