Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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