Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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