Jerry, you need to find god
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
