I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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