kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
