For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
