i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
