Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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