420 ftw
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
