You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
