is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
