I got chris browned last night
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Is it penis luge time yet?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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