Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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