Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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