Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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