So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
