He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
