a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
