Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
