It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
