The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
