I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
