btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I don't think brook has ever known best
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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