She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
