she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
