Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
