can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
