I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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