Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
