Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
