Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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