you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
