I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
